Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Describing a chair....

Scott Schultz

Syst. of Christian Phil.

R. Henderson


The Chair, seatus gluteus maximus. Chair falls into the furniture kingdom under the couchus potatoum phylum. There exists many species of chair but all share a basic design…I mean follow a basic evolutionary path: they all have legs, a seat, and a back. The chair consists of four legs made of wood that are connected to the broad end of a platform; usually one leg per corner. The legs make contact with the floor and one sits on the platform. Now, up to this point the thing would be called a stool (stools and chairs are relatives and share a common ancestor) a chair goes one-step more: a back. This broad piece connects to one end of the seat. If one would look at this contraption from the side, it may remind them of an ‘h.’

Chairs come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and even vary in material; however all chairs share these basic characteristics. There are of course exceptions, misfits of furniture evolution if you will. Some chairs simply have a block that functions as the seat and the legs wile others have rollers for legs (one usually finds this species of chair in offices and some dorm rooms). There is one peculiar chair, though quite rare these days, known as the “cube” which is simply a block with a seat cut into it. It is a rather odd specimen. No one really knows how the chair came about, though scientists theorize that the first chair evolved from a rock. Religious fundamentals challenge such scientific facts by saying that the chair was a special design. The civilized world cannot tolerate such crack-pot ideas.

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